BeckyAnn Tells Teen Daughter, "I'm TS"
For the transgender MTF out their who had to tell your teen that your TG i feel for you because its the hardest thing i had to do. Tell my 14yr old daughter her daddy is becoming a mommy. Oh how do ya even start well for me i did a lot of research on the web on how to break this kind of news to her. To set the scene a little bit of insite i have told my whole family and friends that im a Male to Female in transition and pre-operation heading to SRS and taking hormones to start my transition. But my first thing to do was get and see a theripist to help and guide me thru this. Well the first thing was my theripist told me i really needed to see if this is what i want before telling the whole world im a transsexual and i have.
After telling my whole family and friends all of them outed me. No phone calls, returned my mail and the last thing they said to me was why do you want to be a freak. To say the least i was hurt but know my path i have to follow to be happy. Oh and one little thing i forgot was that i hadnt told my daughter because she lives out of state. hmmmmmmmmmm how am i going to do that?
Well i had done a lot of research on the web and finally found a web site named Laura's Playground which was a god sent blessing finally. I found a family their where i can ask questions and get real life answers these people have been their done that. Now i have. So i found one site that told me to have all the defintions to most transgender terms handy so when asked i would have a referance to read and show her. OK i done that, now i arrranged for her to come spend 2 weeks for christmas with me ok so i think im ready UNTILL im face to face with the fear of telling her to her face that im a transsexual OMG the overwhelming pressure. Ok now i devised a plan to give her little hints from the time she arrived till i could tell her, like Im seeing a theripist, marriage hasnt worked out for me and i found out why i'll tell you later ok, ummmmm do you know what Gender is she said yes OK. So i been dropping hints for almost 2 weeks and she goes back in 2 days OMG i got to do this. I talked to all my friend in chat trying to get the courage up because this is my only chance for a long while, she needs to know because i dont want her to hear it second hand from all them calling me freak. So i set a time to tell her and got all my information together here we go. Scared to death of rejection again. Rembering what the theripist had said YOU have to tell her just be honest and wait for the questions.
So i turned down the tv and turned to her and told her i had something very very important to tell her, with a cheerful voice she said ok bug eyed thinking i have a supprise for her and i did. I started out by saying i have been seeing a theripist and she said yeah you told me that ok. And i told ya that i found out why my marriages didnt work out. She said yeah but you didnt tell me why and i said well here it is, Do you know what gender is ? she said yeah boys and girls and i said yes thats right. Now do you know what Gender Dysforua is she got a confused look on her face and said no and i said its when my brain and my heart feel female and i have a male body. She got quiet. I said first of all its not contagous your not going to catch it, its not heredatary it dont run in the family or anything like that. YOu know i love you more than anything and i have to be honest with you. She started crying because i was crying it was a tense moment so i continued. I said over the next 2 to 3 years my body and apperances will change and be like a woman and she said are you Gay? I said no sweetie i dont like men i still like women but am becoming a woman she said oh Ok i like gay people their cool. She said its ok that dont bother me which shocked me i didnt quite know how to take it i had expected a blow out rejection but it was ok i proceeded to tell her that i had told the rest of the family and thats why nobody wanted to talk to me during the holidays when she called em. I let her know if her mom found out she would cancel any futher visitation untill she was 18 and that if she told her it was up to her i dont condone lieing and she said ok well mom probably would never ask me that anyway. Hmmmmmmmmm now what do i do geeeeesss i let her know i love her and would never stop loving her and will still call her every weekend just like i have for 12yrs. Then i sat back and said do you have any questions she said no but i wanta cry and dont know why. I told her its part of a loss of a dad and a new mom coming in the picture. She said that i would have to give her time to adjust to seeing me being dressed as a woman which i understand its only right so i told her i would take it slow on me dressing infront of her till she felt comfotable. How was this going so well after all the rejection i have had in the past i wasnt sure how to act or feel could this be a blessing and support for my transition hmmmmmmmmmm she may be with me.
So i said theres more she said ummmmmmmm ok so i went thru and explained to her what hormone theripy was and that i was taking estrogen that would grow me breast and change my body shape to look like a woman hmmmmm this was interesting to her ok i got that far so i continued to let her know in the next year i was going to start school to be a nurse aid to start the real life test as a woman so she said dressed like a woman at a job and i said yes thats a requirement for the next step. So she asked why dont you just tell your job your at now and dont change so i explained that if i did that and they fired me i would be in a very bad way no job living as a pre operational woman with no income and thats a bad thing. So i would have a job incase i got fired and also that i love helping people. Ok i have told her now still scared to death because she may change her mind once she gets home i felt i needed to tell her that im giving her my theripist phone numer to call incase she had any other concerns or got scared about this after thinking about it so to cover my bases. So she has support too as not to get frustrated with the situation and a place to turn to for help and guidence a theripist that knows me and whats going on and that made her feel a lot better. She said the town she lives in Arkansas wouldnt understand especially the guidence counsler which i had suggested. I told her that she must feel free to call me or my theripist at anytime for any reason because i dont want her to stress on this issue. Which made her feel good and more cofident about this enormus odeal which i dropped on her. So i said do you have any questions for me. She said well are you going to get a dog now so yur not alone anymore i said maybe but i have all my friends on Laura's Playground and that has helped me not to be alone ever again. She said that she was glad i told her face to face and not over the phone and that she would have freaked out if i would have done that. This was best to tell her in person so she could ask questions and see my face, i guess to see my expressions. She said OK i said ok and that was it.
Moral to the story here is to be honest with everyone and remember their may be just one that wont reject you and will stand with you and be your support.
This was the hardest thing i have had to do BUT it was nessary for me to continue on my path. Thank you for reading my story please leave me some comments good or bad.