Bio - Jamie

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Jamie's Intersex Biography

by Jamie (Emerald)

Hi my name is Jamie, (aka: emerald)

I was surgically assigned male gender shortly after birth, they chose wrong.

I was born in the early sixties, into a farm family. My father is ¾ Native American and ¼ Dutch. My mother is Swedish, I guess that the only person that that would make any difference to is me, but it’s a starting point. I have two brothers and two sisters; I’m in the middle. Almost from the start I knew that I was different from my brothers and sisters, just by the way that my father treated me. It was like my older brother could do no wrong, and I couldn’t do anything right. My mother just ignored me for the most part, which wasn’t so bad.

As I started to get older (five or six) I felt more drawn to females for friends. My parents didn’t feel that it was right, soon after the physical abuse started. Dad said one time that if he couldn’t teach me how to be a man, he would beat it into me. Around the age of eight or so I started to chose more feminine style clothing, I got that past dad for a short while. It didn’t take him long to catch on though, when he did all sorts of nasty things started happening. He had all my hair cut off and made sure that anything that even resembled a female style of clothing was burned.

When I was around twelve I discovered boys. I didn’t know what I was feeling, or why, but it felt natural to me that I should be attracted to them.

Around the age of fourteen all sorts of things started to happen. I started to develop hips, and my breasts started to grow. That was more than dad could handle, he and mom had me to the doctor so fast it wasn’t funny. That’s when the hormones started, testosterone, they told me that it was a special vitamin. It’s bad when your body is trying to do one thing and someone introduces something to stop it, it hurts. That was a rough time for me, the hip thing stopped so did the breasts, and the body hair started, they kept me on that till I was seventeen and left home.

I didn’t have much to do with any of them for a lot of years. We as a family have come to some sort of understanding about twelve years or so ago. We can at least talk and be somewhat nice to one another.

A short while ago, with me in my mid forties, I finally asked my mom about a scar that I have. I always wanted to know, but couldn’t ask because of embarrassment. See I have this scar that runs from my anus to the end of my boy thingy. She didn’t want to answer at first, so I pushed a little. When she finally was able to talk to me about it she told me that I was born both male and female, so many things made sense. She thought that if I ever knew the truth I would hate them. I can’t do that, life is to short, and I’ve wasted enough time on the past already.

I told her that I was only upset about a few things, one is that I wasn’t allowed to chose. The hormones and them not telling me about this back then.

Now I have a lot of things that I need to rethink a lot of things to rearrange in my personal perspective on life.

I’ve had a good life, I’ve seen almost everything that I care to see, and done most too. But now for me, it’s like life is starting over again. With so much to discover and rediscover.