Poems by Tormenamentis
You don't know who I am.
You don't see the tension rise in me
you don't see the slave i will be.
Chain by unbroken, forgetable past,
Deep throating all my words
scraping my hands across the outside
Bleeding internally for all its trash.
You don't know who i am.
You don't feel the pain deep in side of me.
You don't feel me choking in this sea
Swallowing my life, just to be free..
Climbing the fence of fire
Laying on a cold wall, with a hot back.
Staring at abstractions and listening to metaphors.
Light comes from two sources, yet it feels dark as purgotory.
Whips hang from my walls, yet i feel no pain.
topless with my heart expose,
Put something sweet on my lips.
Watching Reality Fade in and outright in front of me.
I fade for reasons im not sure of.
nothing particualy on my sizzling brain.
Can you feel the beats of my heart?
I feel so cold, now the walls are hot and heavy.
Strongly forming over my purgoty. over my REALITY.
Confined in a body that torments my mind.
Fighting to be my true self,not knowing who i am.
In this wolrd, set out by black and white,
Why can't i be grey?
my heart pounds when i hear the pronouns.
i turn off the lights to see the outer me.
carving in my flesh is only a dream.
taking drugs is actually something i need to do.
people wonder why i bleed sand and why i am dry.
in a world that says bois aren't suppose to cry.
my straight jacket is a dress.
being alone seems best
not to fail those who have the dreams for me.
to be what society wants to see.
I hate this body,but its the only one i got.
looking at others, wonder why can't i do that.
where did my confidence go,
why was it shattered.
The worlds got so much pressure on me
that i do the one thing i shouldn't
My blood turns into the sea.
trapt in a wheelhair
My heart races trying to catch up with my hands. Pushing hard on the metal, trying to escape this reality. No matter how hard I push, I'm still in the same spot...
The metal around the rims, leave blisters on my hands,just like it does on my heart.
I was so different, I was so alive...Then it struck me so hard it threw me in this chair.
So frustrated, so angry..I force myself out of this thing only to fall into pain.
I walk everyday now, knowing I need to be in it.
I can't complain that I hurt, cause no one will listen.
I know I'm sturborn..I know what I need to do, but just because it has wheels, doesn't mean I'm going anywhere.
I look towards nature, being the budhist I am.
I don't see the aniamals having chairs when they get sick, why am I?
I search for people who are like me but they can't seem to get it.
All my friends want me out of it, yet those say I need to be in it.
I'm trapt in this thing...its not the wheels, its my pride. its my mind. its my pain.