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Is God a man or a woman? by Laura Amato
Of course I believe in the goddess. This isn't meant to be blasphemous. I've just been wondering how my sisters can say that God is a woman? I mean lets take a look at the evidence shall we. Just take a look at the world. There's no question that it was a man who decorated this planet, or at least some of it. Take a look at the forests. Are the trees all in nice little rows or even small groupings? No! Someone just plopped them down anywhere he pleased. Now who would do that but a man. Can you imagine the look on the goddess's face when she went outside and saw the mess. She probably said "God, its a lovely day why don't you go outside and plant some trees". "But...... honey I'm kind of busy". "What is so important". "I'm busy making volcano's, earthquakes, floods and thunder and lightening and stuff". "Why don't you go outside and plant those pretty trees now or these legs will be SHUT for all eternity". "That long"? " Longer"! " Oh, all right then". Slam. "Honey, what are you doing back inside. I thought you were going to plant those trees". "I'm all done". "Already". "Yeah it only took a few minutes. Go Take a look". "GOD YOU COME OUTSIDE THIS INSTANT". "Awww honey, come on, I'm starting a war with the Angels". "NOW". "What's wrong"? "Look at this mess. You just plopped the trees down anywhere and you painted everything the same color, GREEN. The trees are so uneven. How am I going to hang the curtains"? "You'll think of something Honey". And the goddess said "Let there be flowers" as she waved her hand over the earth. And the earth was covered with all the pretty colors of the rainbow. "Isn't that better"? "Its OK, but watch this". And God said "Let there be rocks" And Mountains rose out of the earth, and huge boulders dotted the land. "What do you think"? "You did it again with that unimaginative color scheme, everything's drabby gray". "What are you going to do with all those rocks"? "Why their strong and tough. The rocks will be the very foundation of civilization. Why some day they'll even name an insurance company after them". "The Rock, why don't you show your infinite wisdom and call it Prudential". THE NEXT MORNING "Honey wake up, I've got a surprise for you". "Where is it". "Its outside, come see what I made". And the goddess arose and laid eyes on God's creation. And there standing erect was a creature she had never seen before. "What's that God" " I call it MAN". And the goddess laughed, and laughed and laughed and ...... " Its not funny, I suppose you can do better"? "Why of course I can". And the goddess walked up to the man and removed one of his ribs. "What'd you do that for"? "You'll see. I'm off to Venus for a few years to make my own creation". "Why so long?" "I just want her to be PERFECT". to be continued.....................
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